sorry if you've tried accessing my blog recently without any luck, it has been under construction...well that and i actually was super busy studying for my test at school. its over now and i passed;) when you get to this point in nursing school, for most of us who have lives out side of school, all you care about is passing, not A's. thats where im at at least! only 4 weeks to go....
clinicals have been so crazy. i have spent 6 days total in different areas in the ICU- Cardiac, Trauma, and Neuro. I have probably learned more in the last few weeks in those areas than i have in my entire program. my last 2 days there on monday and tuesday were so crazy. it was hard, both days i had patients that were extremely critical. on monday, i had a young guy, in his 20's. he was so sick that he had a DNR order (do not resuscitate). it was decided to take him off life support bc there literally was nothing else any doctor in the world could do for him, and he was only getting worse. He did end up passing on while i was there outside the room, watching his monitor. his whole family was in there with him. it was hard for me, to be honest. i guess something like that would be hard for anyone. the worst part was his mom- she was holding him and kept calling him her beautiful baby boy. i kept thinking... hey, i have one of those. it also was so sudden. he got an infection that spread faster than anyone could have predicted and within 2 days he was in the icu and within 4 days, dying. it had attacked everything in his body. i will never forget his tattoo on his arm that said 'don't count your days, make your days count'.
the next day on tuesday, i came in the morning to a women with a pelvic fracture that should normally be uncomplicated but bc of other health issues, her body could not stop bleeding internally. from school i know the seriousness of her condition so i was getting nervous seeing subtle changes in her vital signs of her going down hill. fortunately, i was with probably the best nurse that hospital has to offer (shes been there for 33 years). she had bled so much it got to the point that there was medically nothing left to do to help her. the doctors asked her daughter that day what she wanted them to do. she just cried.
i hope i havent disturbed anyone. My main reasons for posting this is because stuff like this happens all the time, without notice. i had a serious reality check over the past few weeks and i have contemplated many things that i have never thought to before. i am grateful for my family everyday. and i am starting to realize the importance of living close by. Gene and i have always wanted to move far away and do something new, and i was annoyed bc thats just not practical right now. but i have been coming to an understanding of only having one life to live, and the importance of the people in it- more so than places to see...the importance of being close, while you can.
"Don't count your days, make your days count"
-any of us
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